Today, children and parents alike are inundated with screens. And when meltdowns hit, it can be easier for everyone sometimes to turn to iPads or current classics like Paw Patrol. But what happens when an occasional crutch becomes habit?
May 4-10 is Screen-Free Week, a global initiative to take a break from screens, get back in nature, and connect with one another (the old fashioned way!).
Youth coach, father of two, and motivational author of the new children's book series, Forgotten Wisdom Books, Stephen "Steve" Clifford recently shared his thoughts and experience on parenting without relying on screens. Read on to hear more about the challenges facing children today, how parents can navigate parenting without (too much) screen time, and the inspiration behind the Forgotten Wisdom Books.
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Image Credit: Jaye Avery
What are some of the biggest challenges facing children today in regard to our screen-focused society?
One of the biggest challenges kids face today is that screens replace experiences that used to naturally build resilience.
When so much of life happens on a screen, kids miss out on real-world problem-solving—figuring things out with friends, navigating conflict, dealing with boredom, and even taking small risks. They’re missing out on things like looking people in the eye and feeling comfortable talking to people in REAL life. I know it sounds small, but so many young people can't do it. It's a tragedy to see. Those moments may seem minor, but they’re where confidence and emotional strength are built.
Another challenge is instant gratification. Screens are designed to be fast, entertaining, and rewarding. Real life isn’t like that. Learning a skill, building friendships, or working through a tough moment takes time and effort. When kids get used to constant stimulation, everyday challenges can feel harder than they actually are.
There’s also the comparison factor. Even at a young age, kids are exposed to highlight reels—what others are doing, achieving, or experiencing. That can quietly chip away at confidence and make them feel like they’re falling behind, even when they’re right where they should be.
In our home, we try to balance it by making sure screens supplement real life rather than replace it. We encourage getting outside, playing sports, trying new things, and even being bored sometimes. Boredom often leads to creativity, and unstructured play is where a lot of growth happens.
At the end of the day, it’s not about eliminating screens—it’s about making sure they don’t crowd out the experiences kids need to become resilient, confident, and capable in the real world.
How can children build resilience and coping mechanisms without relying on screens?
Kids build resilience the same way they always have—by living real life, not escaping it.
Screens often become a quick exit when things get uncomfortable: boredom, frustration, conflict. But those exact moments are where coping skills are built. If we constantly remove the discomfort, we also remove the growth.
One of the biggest things we do is let our kids sit in it. If they’re bored, good—figure something out. If they’re frustrated, work through it. If something doesn’t go their way, we don’t hand them a distraction; we help them process it. That’s how they learn to regulate emotions instead of avoiding them.
We also push them into real challenges. Sports, competition, learning new skills—things where they might fail, feel pressure, and have to respond. That’s where resilience is built. My kids train in judo and jiu-jitsu. They’ve lost matches, gotten frustrated, and had to come back the next day and try again. That process builds confidence in a way no screen ever could.
Another piece is conversation. When something happens, we talk it through. What happened? What did you feel? What can you do next time? That reflection builds awareness and control.
And just as important, we model it. If they see us turn to a screen every time we’re stressed, they’ll do the same. If they see us face things head-on, they learn to do that too.
At the end of the day, coping mechanisms aren’t taught through comfort—they’re built through experience. Real challenges, real emotions, real conversations. That’s what prepares kids for life, not a screen.
What are some simple tips and habits that parents can employ to help with this?
For us, it starts with a hard line—we don’t use tablets as part of daily life. That’s not by accident. I’ve read enough from Jonathan Haidt and Abigail Shrier to understand what screens can do to developing brains—but honestly, I didn’t need a study to tell me that. My childhood wasn’t spent behind a screen, and I didn’t want that for my kids.
One of the biggest habits we stick to is no screens at the table during the week, besides the occasional Mets game. Absolutely no screens when we go out to eat. Look around any restaurant and you’ll see it: kids with tablets, headphones on, each in their own world. No one is talking. No one is connecting. In our family, we bring coloring books, we talk, we ask questions, we sit in discomfort if it’s quiet. That’s how kids learn to communicate.
And yes—I get it. Sometimes you’ve had a long day and you just want a few minutes to talk to your spouse. That’s real. But if that becomes the default, we’re being honest—it’s not for the kids, it’s for us. And we know it’s not good for them. We know we didn’t grow up that way. Over time, it builds dependence on something their brains aren’t ready for.
Another big one is letting kids be bored. We don’t rush to fill every gap with a screen. Boredom forces them to think, create, and figure things out. That’s where growth happens.
And maybe most important—I want my kids learning from me, not from Blippi or any other screen personality. I want to be the voice they’re listening to, the one they’re asking questions to, the one helping shape how they see the world.
At the end of the day, it’s about being intentional. These small habits—no screens at meals, embracing boredom, being present—they add up. You’re either building a connection with your kids, or you’re handing that connection off to a screen.
What inspired you to write the Forgotten Wisdom Books?
I knew I was missing something...
When I read books to my kids, there were no books that spoke to the lessons I learned from my Dad, who was a Marine Corps officer, and my mom, who was a fifth-grade teacher for 25 years. My brother, sister, and I grew up in a firm and loving home in the 80s and 90s.
We have values that I believe many other families share. I wanted to create a patriotic and interactive book that helped my family and other like-minded families. So not only did I write the five books, but I incorporated a patch in the back of the book that kids can earn by setting a goal with their parents or teacher and then setting a plan to achieve it. I knew I couldn't be alone in this, and I didn’t want to be a dad who just wished for things…so I decided to make it happen. My hope is that any family who reads these stories gets exactly what they need from them—and that the patches help create the experiences, confidence, and sense of accomplishment kids need to turn belief into real competency.
What lessons do these books teach children? How can parents incorporate these lessons into everyday life?
My books are designed to build what I call a “confidence kingdom.” They tell real, authentic, relatable stories for kids ages 4-10 that focus on the inescapable lessons we all face.
Kids don’t remember their best day watching TV; they remember the moments when they got outside, got dirty, and did something daring. They remember earning something through hard work and grit, not being handed it.
The books also teach ownership—taking responsibility for your outcomes instead of blaming others or falling into a victim mentality. They encourage kids to stand tall, face challenges, and understand they’re never alone in what they’re going through.
We also introduce the idea of using an “alter ego” to help overcome fears and anxieties—giving kids a practical way to step into confidence and become their best selves.
For more information on the Forgotten Wisdom Books, visit: https://forgottenwisdombooks.com/ or follow @forgottenwisdombooks
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